I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize