Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize