I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
