Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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