Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
