i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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