Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
