Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
