One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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