So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
