it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
