Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
