I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
