You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
