brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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