strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
