i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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