I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
