it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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