He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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