Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
