ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
