Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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