I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
did you just send me my own nude
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
