Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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