So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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