we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
