You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The best revenge is premature balding
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
