There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
