Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
