Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
