i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
