You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
