I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
