hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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