please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
