Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I sprained my soul last night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
