I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
