Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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