K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
