New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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