Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
