I skipped work to stalk him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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