And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize