i permit you to call me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
