I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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