We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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