yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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