no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
