i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
