If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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