My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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