dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
