I like my sex mixed with concussions.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
