Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
