Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize