She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
