That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
