I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
