Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
