5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Congratulations! We have a period
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
