Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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