My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
