I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
