If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
