This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
