this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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