I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
