I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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