Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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