Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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