Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
