I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
