Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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