no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
how drunk are you?
Several
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
