Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drunk is not a location!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
