I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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